Santa Bloody Claus    (video)

C

1. That time of the year is almost on us,

F

when department stores will cheat and con us,

G G7 C

trying to steal our money from us, it’s Christmas Time in Oz.

C

And who's this fat old jolly bloke

F

with the long white beard and the bright red cloak,

G G7 C

who'll do his best to send us broke? It's Santa Bloody Claus !

Am F - C F - C

Who's going to make us destitute? Santa, Santa !

Am F G

It's not Paul Keating in a funny suit, it's Santa Bloody Claus !

C

2. And who's the kind old caring chap,

F

who takes screaming kids upon his lap,

G G7 C

and promises the little brats presents to pacify 'em ?

C

He's a generous soil, is old Saint Nick,

F

though not too hot at arithmetic,

G G7 C

but he doesn't care, the selfish old p***k, he doesn't have to buy 'em.

Am F - C F - C

Who's the man that parents loathe? Santa, Santa !

Am F G

'cause he has credit cards to overload? Santa Bloody Claus !

+ instrumental = verse 2 : C - F - G - C (2x)

Am F - C F - C

Who makes us eat and drink and over-indulge? Santa, Santa !

Am F G

Till our eyes pop and our stomachs bulge? Santa Bloody Claus !

C

3. So when you hear the sound of a reindeer's hoofs,

F

as it lands and craps upon your roof,

G G7 C

and your chimney isn't Santa-proof, you’d better run because,

C

if you don't, then before you know,

F

you’ll be up to your arse in mistletoe,

G G7 C

and then you'll hear, "Ho, ho, ho, ho!” It's Santa Bloody Claus !

Am F - C F - C

Who persuades us to bankrupt ourselves? Santa, Santa !

Am F G

Sod him, his reindeer & his elves, Santa F*****g Claus !

Bb

Who's as welcome as a dose of syph' ?

C

Who goes down like a fart in a crowded lift ?

Bb

Who's the man we'd most like to lynch,

C

apart from Steve Vizard or Derryn Hinch ?

Bb

Who's the biggest humbug of them all,

C

apart from Doctor John or Prime Minister Paul,

Bb

with more front than Myers or John Laws ?

C F G

It’s that old bastard Santa Claus !

C F

Dashing through the snow, in his open sodding sleigh,

G G7 C

I wish someone would get a gun & blow his jingle bells away.

F - G C

(spoken : "Go ahead, punk, make my day")

C F G C

Good King Steven once looked down, on the feast of Wenceslas,

C F G C

when the snow lay round about, he slipped on his defenceless arse.

C G

Rudolf the red nosed reindeer, had a very shiny nose,

'cause he's got a drinking problem,

G7 C

and he's started wearing pantyhose.

G - G7 C

We think he's becoming one of those.

+ instrumental ( = “Silent Night”) :

C - G - C - F - C - F - C G - C - C - G - C

(orig. = capo 3rd) (Eric Bogle)