Loos of England
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1. Of all the works of Englishmen deserving fame and glory,
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of mighty deeds and
triumphs bold in his renowned history,
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the
one that's sung and praised the least must be the lavatory !
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Long live the loos of England
!
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2. His firm support in hour of need, a shrine for meditation
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a haven
from the busy world, a font of inspiration.
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The glory of the plumber's
art, triumph of sanitation !
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Long live the loos of England !
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3. The French who have no shame at all have built them on the street,
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and though they may
be picturesque, it's hard to be discreet.
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You stand right in the
boulevard, a chill wind round your feet.
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Long live the loos of England !
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4. The US put them up in space before the other nations,
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they
even paint them black and white to help their race relations.
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But it's taboo to call them “loos”
they call them “comfort stations”.
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Long live the loos of England !
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5. In Greece it's rare to find 'em there even
in the twentieth century,
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and
if you do, you'll finally see, a little elementary.
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And in the blazing mid-day
heat they're not exactly sanitary.
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Long live the loos of England !
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6. In Russia they've been nationalized and if you pay your rouble,
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there'll
be a guard and watch-dog, too, to keep you out of trouble,
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and
make quite sure you don't inscribe some capitalist doodle.
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Long live the loos of England !
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7. Australia’s big and in the bush you’ve loads of space to choose,
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If you avoid the prickly pear
you’ve little else to lose.
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But, mind you, keep one jump
ahead of those damned kangaroos !
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Long live the loos of England !
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A
8. So in this wide world there is one jam that we must hold most dear,
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and
though they ring the changes, one thing must not disappear.
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And if they ask who sang this
song, tell them “Kilroy was here, mate”!
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Long live the loos of England !
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Long live the loos of England !
(Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick & Tich)