Little Gomez    (video)

 

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1. Well, I used to have a doggie and I called him little Gomez

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    ‘cause you see, he was a Mexican Chihuahua.

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   There wasn’t much to him, but there was all cojones

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    he really was a randy little fella.

 

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    Big dogs, small dogs were all the same to him,

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    the canine equivalent of Errol Flynn.

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    At the drop of a sombrero he’d jump up and get stuck in,

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    taking Gomez out for walkies was embarassin’.

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    Taking Gomez out for walkies was embarassin’.

 

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2. I remember one day in the park his tally rose by four,

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    an enviable score he was amassing.

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    Two very patient poodles and an Irish Labrador

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    and a woman who just happened to be passing.

 

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    I tried every way to curb his carnal appetite,

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    I kept him on a leash by day, I locked him up at night.

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    I even put some bromide in his chunky meaty bites,

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    but the only thing that might have worked was Kryptonite.

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    Yes, the only thing that might have worked was Kryptonite.

 

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3. Then came the fateful day when he tried to consummate

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    a liaison with a Saint Bernard from Dublin.

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    And although he was quite clearly fighting well above his weight,

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    he didn’t let that minor detail stop him.

 

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    He nearly pulled it off, oh, what an acrobat !

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    But the bitch got bored and down she sat.

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    They say that after making love you often feel quite flat.

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    I’m sure that little Gomez would agree with that.

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    Yes, I’m sure that little Gomez would agree with that.

 

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4. So, I buried Gomez in the park, his happy hunting ground,

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    a sad but fitting finale.

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    I had to make a grave that was very flat and round,

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    ‘cause he looked like squashed tamale.

 

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    But I really missed my wee Chihuahua chum,

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    I went down to the pet shop to find another one.

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    I went there feeling happy, but I came out feeling glum,

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    because the man down at the pet shop loved corny puns.

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    Yes, the man down at the pet shop loved corny puns.

 

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    And he said, “Yes, we have no Chihuahuas,

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     we have no Chihuahuas today.

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     We have Alsatians, Dalmatians, the fruits of all flirtations,

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     we have a Pekinese in a toupee.

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    “But, yes, we have no Chihuahuas, we have no Chihuahuas today.

 

(orig. = capo 2nd)    (Eric Bogle)