Gus, the theatre
cat
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1. Gus is the cat at the theatre door,
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his
name, as I ought to have told you before,
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Am
is
really Asparagus, but that's such a fuss
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to
pronounce, that we usually call him, just Gus.
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His coat's very shabby, he's thin as a rake,
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and
he suffers from palsy that makes his paw shake.
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Am
Yet he was in his youth, quite
the smartest of cats.
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But no longer a terror to mice and to rats.
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C
Dm C
2. For he isn't the cat that he was in his prime.
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though
his name was quite famous, he says, in his time.
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And whenever he joins his
friends at their club,
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Am
which
takes place at the back of the neighbouring pub,
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he
loves to regale them, if someone else pays,
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with
anecdotes drawn from his palmiest days.
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C
3. For he once was a star of the highest degree,
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Am
he
has acted with Irving, he has acted with Tree.
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C
And he likes to relate his
success on the Halls,
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Am
where
the Gallery once gave him seven cat calls.
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Am
But his grandest creation, as
he loves to tell,
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Bb F
was Fire-frore-fiddle, the Fiend of the Fell.
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4. I have played in my time, every possible part,
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and I
used to know seventy speeches by heart.
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Am
I'd extemporize backchat, I knew how to gag,
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C
and I
knew how to let the cat out of the bag.
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C E Am
I knew how to act with my back
and my tail,
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with
an hour of rehearsal, I never could fail.
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Am
I'd a voice that would soften
the hardest of hearts,
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F C
whether
I took the lead, or in character parts.
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C
5. I have sat by the bedside of poor little Nell,
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when
the Curfew was rung, then I swung on the bell.
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In the Pantomime season I
never fell flat,
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E Am
and I
once understudied Dick Whittington's cat.
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But my grandest creation, as
history will tell,
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Em F Bb F
was
Fire-frore-fiddle, the Fiend of the Fell.
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6. Then, if someone will give him a toothful
of gin,
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he
will tell how he once played a part in 'East Lynne'.
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At a Shakespeare performance
he once walked on pat,
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D7 G
when
some actor suggested the need for a cat.
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C
And I say: Now, these kittens,
they do not get trained
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as we
did in the days, when Victoria reigned.
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And they never get drilled in
a regular troupe,
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and
they think they are smart, just to jump through a hoop.
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7. And he says as he scratches himself with his claws :
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Well, the Theatre is certainly
not what it was.
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C
These modern productions,
they’re all very well,
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E Am
but
there's nothing to equal, from what I hear tell,
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Am
that
moment of mystery when I made history
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Bb F
as
Fire-frore-fiddle, the Fiend of the Fell.
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(orig. = capo 2nd) (Andrew
Lloyd Webber)